Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dave Matthews, suck it.

I don't like Dave Matthews Band. Never have, never will. I liked the one song, The Space Between, but only because that movie was so good (Blackhawk Down).

I don't find you musically appealing!!! Along with the Beatles. And that's that. But what really grinds my gears is the fans. You are straight up ridiculous. In my experience with Dave, most people either love the band, or hate the band. There is no happy medium. Which is ridiculous, but whatever.

Yes you, Dave fan. Don't look at me like I shot your puppy when I tell you I don't like Dave. I didn't!!!! Your puppy is alive and kicking and probably loves DMB too because thats all you listen to. Ever. It's beyond me. When I tell you I don't like DMB, I'm not trying to mortally offend you--that is not my goal. In fact, I could care less that you like them and I do not. I'm just making the statement. 
So why, oh why, dear DMB fan, must you try and force me to like them??? You tell a Dave Matthews fan that you don't like Dave Matthews and there goes your night. "oh just listen to this one song, it'll change your life". NO IT WON'T!!!!! It will suck. and It will make me mad. So then, the rest of the night, a fan is trying to change your outlook. Just accept it!!! Why must I see like you???? I don't force you to listen to Lady Gaga or my emo shit of the week, or even Weezy, should you so protest (but really..who protests Weezy??). I mean you should, cause it's awesome, but i don't make you. 

Your puppy is alive. We're having a good time. Why spoil it with your instance that "dave is awesome, man."???

oh my.

Also, why is it that people who love Dave Matthews always refer to him as "Dave"? Are you guys BFFs? Do you reserve first name rights? People talk about him like they're long time friends, when they have probably never met. Ever. It's weird. Really, really, weird. 



(I'm sorry LeRoi died. may he rest in peace)


Also, put on shoes before you step on a rusty nail and get sick!!

(Sam..i love you and how you don't force your love of dave matthews on me and how you never wear shoes)

15 comments:

Todd said...

Hi. DMB fan. Somehow randomly stumbled on to your blog. And yes, you are completely right. Some people enjoy it (a little too much) and probably a majority of people don't enjoy it. I guess if someone tells me they don't like, hate passionately, or don't care for the music - I might be one of those rare people that thinks "oh ok - cool" and I move on.

I think it's interesting (sometimes) to hear why someone doesn't like a particular band or type of music... but it's just taste.

I hate seafood - and I hate that I have to explain myself when people look at me like I just kicked the puppy you just shot! Yes, I grew up in a beach town and yes, I detest the taste of anything that came out of the water (shrimp, crab, lobster, fish, oysters, whatever). PS I'm at work and trying to avoid it - so yes, I googled "Dave Matthews" in the google blog search.

Stephanie said...

DAVE MATTHEWS IS THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATIONS!!! OMGWTFBBQ!!!ONE!

Word verif: jammg. Jamming. Something Dave Matthews tries to do endlessly.

AquarianFuture said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AquarianFuture said...

Hey there,

I enjoyed this. mainly what I wanted to say is that I understand completely where you're coming from. I am a partial fan when it comes to certain tunes and for nostalgic reasons long ago, but i in no way consider myself a superfan. I know these people. I've met a lot of these fans. I joined a dave cover band at one point not because i was in love with their music as much as it was a really good paying gig for a working musician. Unfortunately in doing so i set myself up for the expected bombardment of super-fandom mentalities and questions as to 'how much i love DMB.' I accept responsibility for this action and it was what it was.

I must say that most of the DMB fans I have met throughout this path have been downright scary. I have encountered women that have apartments covered with self created posters and many other band obsession evidence and DMB paraphernalia. Women who have out rightly said that "If only Dave met me, i know we could be great friends." Another gal who went so far as to inquire to DMB's management how much it would cost to have Dave personally come and play in her apartment.

I have also met many men who live straight lives and talk about how they would make out with him or have sex with him if given the opportunity, and the temperature of obsession is what i believe to be a classic obsessive case mixed with vicarious living through someone else's achievements. I speculate that a portion of the people that follow this band have relatively ordinary lives and they compensate with booking 20 shows a tour and spending unbelievable amounts of money to travel.

I'm not trying to beat up or bash the run of the mill fan that just enjoys seeing the band from time to time. I'm specifically talking about the obsessed fans. they are in a bracket of their own.

Regarding their shows, I have seen 3 shows in my life and aside from some great seats and the experience which was interesting, from a musical point of view i was disappointed. 2 shows in a row in 2007. 2 ridiculously similar shows. Dave even said the same things to the crown, almost as if it were scripted. It's my belief from a musicians point of view that their shows have become more of a completely pre prepared production lacking much uniqueness or alteration from show to show.

However, try telling a borderline psychotic DMB fan that. Whether it's hearing 'Ants marching' played exactly the same way for the last 10 years, somehow it remains brand new to them every time. Kinda reminds me of fish in a fishbowl.

Unknown said...

AquiarianFuture: Excellent comment. Absolutely spot on there. I just went to a concert recently and though I'm a fan (not a superfan -- those people freak me out) and enjoyed seeing their new material (I hadn't heard the new album before going), I had to leave mid-show from all the pot smoking going on around me. I was also taken aback by the number of psycho superfans that were not only singing along and laughing like retards to every stupid thing Dave said, but also being incredibly selfish and disrepectful to people seated around them. Of course, they were all stoned so what did they care, right. I will never go to another concert because of these people, and that makes me sad, because I'm a huge Carter Beauford fan -- the most talented musician in that lineup, IMHO.

Pete said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pete said...

Just wanted to comment though it seems a little silly to do so.
I stumbled here because I know one of the people who previously commented and read blog he follows. Maybe TMI? Anyway..

I love a lot of DMB's stuff. There are some songs I seem not to be able to get enough of. At least for a week or two, then I don't listen to them again for a year, and do the same thing for another week, after which they end up in my "music I forget I even own" pile. He has some very original sounds, Carter Beauford - the drumming man/god - is a member, and I think I just like Dave's personality. He seems to be a very cool guy.

But I don't get the mass obsession with anyone who's made it big, or, "celebrities". Why do people show up screaming at red carpet events and plaster their walls with someone's face? Why isn't plain old admiring someone enough? I suppose they could be preventing themselves from actually becoming dangerous with a "real person" in their lives by channeling their stalker energy towards a celeb, which we could all be grateful for. But then, I would have to think it causes problems in their intimate relationships. "Honey, just so you know, if I ever get the chance at Dave Matthews, I'm gonna fuck him."

Like the "OMGWTFBBQ", btw! We should see BBQ a lot more as an expression of excitement online.

Unknown said...

Bravo! i hate the dude too. in fact:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aChxvGqT0I

Josh Brown said...

i don't know you... you don't know me. but, i googled "dave matthews sucks", and this came up. you're awesome. thank you.

sam said...

i second exactly what josh brown said. including the google search.

a.j.m.y* said...

i just pulled this up after a year of not posting to delete everything and restart...this is awesome! i glad everyone enjoyed my post..and that you all think i'm awesome. i will keep this for nostalgias sake :)

godspeed said...

I would wish death upon Dave Mathews but with my luck... It would only make his bland, shitty music even more popular than it already is.

Just remember... It's like H.L. Mencken said:

"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public."

Sam said...

I happened upon this blog entry in the same way as a few others: searching "DMB sucks". I'm not saying I hate the guy, he has some great songs, but he's not the most awesome thing to happen since sliced bread. But anyway, cool post. Glad to see I'm not the only one who just doesn't really like DMB. However, I do like seafood... :)

Joseph O'Connell said...

dave sucks dick. His voice is on some lousy bleating goat eddie veder shit. hate his unimaginative abercrombie fans also. Dave Matthews band is the soundtrack of life to millions of boring people with poor taste. His band has some talented musicians though, I'll give them that. Like the black guy with the electric violin. he seems to know what he's doing I guess.

Anyways, I'm glad that I don't have to hear their shit anymore, but c'mon, please dont even use them in the same sentence as the Beatles, it's just not right.

yep, and like many others here, I found this by googling "Dave Matthews Sucks" just to take the temperature of other people out there. Sort of got sucked into this negativity after watching a PBS documentary that tried to enshrine a simalarly blandband pearljam. Dave will be up next. Theirs a reason I started listning to hip hop in the 90's, these guys SUCKED!

Oceandweller101 said...

I really enjoy quite a few Dave Mathews band songs, but have seen them twice, Staples center, and at the Hangout this past week. RHCP killed it, I mean out the ball park. Dave was supposed to play for 3 hours, he started like 20-30 mintues late, played the night before in Dallas, didn't sing but for a total of about 30 mintues, and relied on his band the whole night. I was freaking pissed. On the beach, and you miss crash, crush, grave digger, and many others. I'll give it he played two step, big eyed fish, and eneded the last 10 minutes with all along the watchtower which was great, but a nice couple of songs at the end would have been nice vs a 10 minute finale on such a big stage "one of the biggest in the country no doubt".

Don't PLAY THE NIGHT BEFORE!!!!!!!