ohhhh hi. I was just thinking about masquerade balls and the whole concept of masks. Most importantly, the television and movie kind. Who writes this crap into movies? I like masquerade balls, like the New Years Eve ones. So it is not the ball factor I do not like (who doesn't like balls? get it? only kidding). What I do not like is how they're used in media to disguise identities. Seriously? Seriously????? You expect me to believe that a tiny piece of plastic disguises who the other person is? I wore a batman mask when i was little, with my Robin pajamas. yeah, I was batman AND robin at once. But everyone knew it was me!!!! Because its a small piece of plastic with eye holes!!! And no amount of feathers and beads will that change that. (disclaimer: this obviously does not include face size masks and those that cover more than 3/4 of the face)
The Cinderella Story Example:
Chad Michael Murray, you expect me to believe that you can't tell that this broad:
No wonder this was your last movie anyone heard of. You're stupid.
The Superman Example:
Oh Lois Lane. Silly Lois Lane. You're a reporter!!! Dedicated to truth, and justice. Truth my ass, you don't want to see the truth and report the truth because then, it would be revealed to the world that you're having an illicit affair with Superman, and you're not Wonder Woman, whom the whole comic book world thinks he should really be with. As Brodie said in Mallrats,
"It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child? He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Krypotonian biological makeup is enhanced by the earth's yellow sun. If Lois get a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a Kryponite condom. That would kill him."
He's right Lois. Open your eyes and realize that this guy:
Is the same as this guy:
and will you never have his kids. You'll probably get promoted up the glass ceiling for revealing Superman's true identity. Dump him, and go for a man whose ass you can kick, like Jimmy, the Daily Planet's adorably innocent photographer, who later was in the Dungeons and Dragons movie. Way to succeed, Jimmy.
So there you have prime examples of why masks on television shows are a big load of "bullpoodie", as my old roommate used to say.
3 comments:
Don't talk shit on The Chad. He's the best actor ever. Haven't you seen his Eye Squint of Emotion?
And real Jimmy or the stupid second Jimmy who sucked? Real Jimmy was better and cuter (than fake Jimmy, not than Dean Cain, come on)
why won't it let me say i follow sweet valley
I love this. Just wanted to let you know.
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