Your tickles pain me.

To the Male Population

Hi! Jenn here. Wanted to drop you an FYI about flirting. Here's the thing that i've experienced many times in my life as a flirting technique, yet absolutely despise. It started maybe circa 8th grade. I do not know if there was a male memo on this but it seems popular. In reality, it should have stopped maybe after 10th grade, or the end of high school if you're particularly shy. That would be me.
So lets address it. The tickle-cuddle. I'll think of a better name later. But that move where you tickle us and so we get all squirmy and cute and you use it as a way to get in there and make a move because we're so incapacited buy your silly tickles we can't fight back. Yes, you know what i'm talking about.

A. If I wanted to be that close to you, I would.
Its simple. When this started in 8th grade, I was shyer, a bit meeker. Understandable, cause you were as well. It was cute, and it worked well to jumpstart the dating. But here's the thing. I'm not that shy anymore. I'm a flirt who loves hugs and cuddling. So really, if i wanted to be that close, I would be. So stop making me! This leads me to point B.

B. Hey, Godzilla.
I'm not the largest girl you'll come across. I'm 5'4. Don't call me short, it's fun sized. (For some reason the phrase funsized reminds me cupcakes. Who doesn't like cupcakes?) But unless i've entered into a parallel universe when I like my boys short and scrawny, you're bigger than me. Much bigger. Hence, when you start with your "tickles" (the use of quotations will be promptly explained in C.) I don't really have a choice. I lose. Your giant mass of a body will engulf me in a awkward cuddle because I have no choice! You win. And I usually give in so that I don't have to be tickled. Which clearly brings me to the most dreaded part of this 10 minute incident of uncomfortableness.

C. Fella, that's not tickling
Tickling. Who invented tickling? Why do people tickle? Hypothetical, don't get all scientific on me. And yeah, you bet i'm ticklish. Pedicures send tickles up and down my body and I embarrasingly giggle to myself. But what you're doing, is not tickling. You only think it's tickling. It's mostly just hurting. Tickling is much more gentle. You have to have soft movements, light and quick. But no! Not you! Maybe, you think, if i press harder, she'll giggle and laugh and get closer. NO! you press harder, it hurts. I've had people "tickle" who left bruises. You're kind of just poking and stabbing at my stomach. Awesome!! Keep it up. Really. I'll like you more if you do. (Just because the internet can be a bit unclear...that was sarcasm).


So all in all, theres my complaint. Don't get me wrong. I love boys. I love kissing boys. I just...think some should try new tactics.

Mrs Teasley on Beverly Hills 90210 has crazy long shaniqua nails. Random, I know.


hates it <3